Kagome's Dairy
by DepressionQueenSyene
Summary: Kagome's Life goes spiraling out of control from the moment she said I do....She says her life is cursed and can't take it anymore.Her only friend is a cold steel blade and the book that she writes her depressing yet interesting life in.
1. The Very Day My Life Was Destroyed

_**Kagome's Diary**_

_**Chapter 1:**_

_**The Very Day My Life Was Destroyed**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't Own Inuyasha, I wish I did though**_

_**--**_

_**Kagome Higurashi...**_

_**Age: 21**_

_**Life: Incomplete**_

_**It's me again and my life is terrible...Hurricane Katrina roared through and destroyed everything. Inuyasha was called out for National Guard duty today.**_

_**I tried to stop him but every time I tried he just pushed me away and said, "This is my own problem...I won't be gone for long."**_

_**Sometimes I just can't stand Inuyasha, but what can a woman do? I'm only human...and my emotions sometimes get the best of me.**_

_**My life is hell I know but some people just move along and let life take it's course...I wrote a new poem that you might like...**_

_**I hope and pray that Inuyasha will return home safe soon...**_

All This Pain

On August 29th 2007,  
A Woman Named Katrina  
Roared through the Gulf of Mexico  
A warning had been called  
to evacuate,  
A warning not many heard.  
That night...  
All was lost  
in the blink of a eye  
Family  
(Gone)  
Friends  
(Gone)  
Memories  
(Gone)  
All taken away in the blink  
of an eye.  
Even though it's been 2 years  
since that terrible day  
The impact and power  
of that one woman  
is imprinted in everyone's mind  


Pain that can't be taken away  
Family's torn apart forever  
Shed Tears, Blood spilled  
Time stood still that day  
It seemed like forever  
before anyone could know the meaning  
of the word hope.  
Hope, Love, Happiness, And Faith  
That's four things  
All this pain  
Can Never take away

Syene

_**Inuyasha I hope and pray that you'll come home safe soon...**_

People this story is relating to my own life...not the boyfriend thing but the Katrina thing...so much pain...so much turmoil...it's such a painful experience to lose material possessions but a whole other thing to lose love ones and your home and memories...


	2. Hell's Gates Have Opened Wide

_**Kagome's Diary**_

_**Chapter 2:**_

_**Hell's Gates Have Opened Wide**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't Own Inuyasha, I Wish I Did Though**_

_**--**_

_**Kagome Higurashi**_

_**Age: 21 (looks 34)**_

_**Life: What life have I got to live?**_

_Sniffle_

_**I got a letter in the mail today...**_

_**It explained in one sentence...**_

_**"**_**We have come to inform you that...The name was scratched out...Your husband was Killed In the Line of Duty"**

_**Inuyasha, My Inuyasha; were you really so reckless, to go and get Killed in the line of duty?**_

_Sniffles_

_**Inuyasha why would you even go, go to a place that you know is to dangerous for you to go?!**_

_**Inuyasha you reckless bastard!**_

_**I know some people may take life as it comes...**_

_**Well I Say Fuck Life and everyone in it...**_

_**Life is just an endless black hole...with no meaning or explanation what-so-ever.**_

_**I found a razor a few seconds ago. Inuyasha apparently hide it from me.**_

_**I stare and stare at its cool, shiny surface, and wonder how the untarnished surface of the cold steel would feel against my warm, pale skin.**_

_**I finally pick it up, and run it across my wrist...**_

_**I have no reason to live anymore...**_

_**Inuyasha's gone...**_

__

_**My Life is shit...**_

_**And Inuyasha?**_

_**He'll never know...**_

_**He's a Father...**_

_**Why is life so cruel?**_

_**Life and Death**_

_**These are the two most  
peaceful, hopeful, and beautiful  
things in the world  
Reincarnation  
That one word,  
Explains life and death  
to a T.  
Why is it,  
that people hope,  
that people love  
Lie  
Cheat  
Steal  
These are the biggest questions  
that life has to offer  
In Death,  
You feel no emotions  
You have no pain  
No Sorrow  
No hopes  
No dreams  
Just care free all the time,  
is that what people want?  
Living is so easy.  
Everyday brings new hopes,  
dreams, and loves.  
Life has so many expectations,  
too many for one human, alone.  
Take each day of life  
a step at a time  
keep pushing on  
Strive live everyday  
you can.  
But always remember,  
In Death,  
What can you do but sit there?  
When you know  
this answer  
find a way  
to reincarnate.  
I'll be living my life,  
MY way.**_

_**Syene**_


	3. My Soul Departs

_**Kagome's Diary**_

_**Chapter 3:**_

_**My Soul Departs**_

_**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Inuyasha, I Wish I Did Though**_

_**--**_

_**Kagome Higurashi**_

_**Age: Who gives a fuck!!**_

_**Life: Is draining away every second, down the drain of my shower**_

_**To Who May Find This...**_

_**By The Time you're done Reading this...**_

_**I'm already dead...**_

_**These Damn blood stains...**_

_**They won't erase**_

_**My life has fallen**_

_**Into a spot, where even I can't reach.**_

_**My Life is shit,**_

_**I'm carrying a dead man's baby,**_

_**I'm draining my blood down the drain, as I write each sentence,**_

_**This crap people talk about**_

_**That you can change your life,**_

_**It's Just Alotta Bullshit!!**_

_**Alotta Bullshit**_

_**People been saying a lotta shit lately  
and it's been pissing me off  
I can't take it any more  
I'm different  
I Love It  
But does that give you the fucking right  
**_

_**to judge me  
I'm a girl  
an Japanese, Gothic  
A smart, intellegent,cute  
(not pretty, not fine)  
I don't care what the fuck people think about me  
All that shit to me is a lotta bullshit  
I Can't take it anymore  
this shit is pissing me the fuck off  
people judge me  
cause I'm not perfect  
Because I'm different  
Because I've went to a private school all my life  
Who gives a fuck where you came from  
I'm a human being  
I'm NOT FUCKING PERFECT!!  
I don't any one who is perfect  
And who ever thinks there perfect  
Needs to have their ass kicked!!**_

_**Every Word of My Life Is Pure Bullshit,**_

_**As I push the razor deeper into my wrist,**_

_**I see pink for a spilt second,**_

_**then the blood starts' running down my arm like a sorrowful stream of hate,**_

_**WHY!!**_


	4. The Beginning Of The End

_**Kagome's Diary**_

_**Chapter 4:**_

_**The Beginning of the End**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, I wish I did though**_

_**--**_

_**Kagome Higurashi**_

_**Age: I really don't care anymore**_

_**Life: Life Is a wet pile of shit...It's foul, and everything in it is fucked up...**_

_**My life is so fucked I don't know where to start.**_

_**After cutting away at what life I had left,**_

_**I took the razor and ran it across both of my wrists.**_

_**The cool metal felt like the lust and love I needed,**_

_**It was cool to the touch and sharp as a dagger.**_

_**I then Picked the razor up and ran it across my stomach,**_

_**Slicing it open and leaving my 7 month old child exposed.**_

_**Really I don't give a Damn if no one likes me...**_

_**I just need a real reason to live...**_

_**I Found It...It's Death**_

_**That One Experience,**_

_**That one lustful, Pure experience**_

_**It's a pure Delight.**_

_**life is a fucked up black hole,**_

_**u put shit in it ,**_

_**and never get anything back.**_

_**Why is life so cruel?**_

__

_**Some people see the answer to this question as clear as the white glassy glaciers of the Arctic.**_

_**Other think it's a hell to be reckoned with.**_

_**Me...**_

_**Life Is just a dream,**_

_**Everyone has dreams,**_

_**And my dream is no different than everyone else's.**_

_**This shit I put in this book...**_

_**It Means nothing to me.**_

_**When I burn this book**_

_**Only ashes will remain not memories...**_

_**Last week I found a letter.**_

_**It was Inuyasha's handwriting.**_

_**I cried and cried after I read that letter.**_

_**I felt like a faucet...**_

_**with the knobs broken off...**_

_**My water wouldn't stop flowing.**_

_**I finally had enough strenght to get up and read it again,**_

_**I Tumbled back to the floor,**_

_**The note came down as quickly as I did...**_

_**It said just one thing,**_

" I'm Sorry."

_**I went into a fit of rage.**_

_**I Slit my healing wrists, and went into the shower...**_

_**This shit called "LIFE"**_

_**Can Stop Playing It's Game With Me.**_

_**I'm Done,**_

__

_**I May Have lost the game.**_

_**  
But I'm The Only winner in this Game.**_

Yes People Kagome's gone crazy...

But she has the reason to. She's lost everything important in her life.

Her husband, And now her Baby. Why does life create things just to take them away from you again?

If someone knows this answer tell me please.

Now review please.


	5. Life Was Fun, While It Lasted

_**Kagome Higurashi**_

_**Age: 25**_

_**Life: My life has been fun, while it lasted...**_

_**Hey.**_

_**  
Guess what?**_

_**I meet someone. He's so cute.**_

_**Charming, funny, romantic, long silver hair, amber eyes, Cute dog ears, and incredibly strong.**_

_**He's such a cutie...**_

_**But this isn't all...**_

_**He's also dead.**_

_**My husband Inuyasha is dead.**_

_**And so is my daughter.**_

_**My life is so cruel.**_

_**This may be my lasy entry I ever write.**_

_**My life has been so...**_

_**Well let's just say, major I just don't know how to put it into words...**_

_**These damn tears are getting in the way of my writing...They're smudging the words.**_

_**My life went spiraling from one hell hole to another.**_

_**But i was only really happy when I meet Inuyasha.**_

_**When we got married last yeah and found out I was pregnant.**_

_**I was planning on having our baby, Shiori,**_

_**And showing Inuyasha our baby for the first time.**_

_**But he never got the chance to return, And she never got the chance to live.**_

_**But me I've got the chance to keep on going in life,**_

_**  
It's just a chance that I'm not willing to take.**_

_**I found a bottle of Tylonol that has an experation date of 10/20/1997.**_

_**Damn these are old.**_

_**And they Taste funny.**_

_**I Tried to swallow one but I just threw it back up.**_

_**I guess it's not my time...Or is it.**_

_**I soon remember my razor...and the way Inuyasha always used to joke about doing drugs...**_

_**I took the razor and a couple of pills and crushed them up...**_

_**Now Inuyasha did say that that some kinda way you could snort it in your nose like cocaine, but i'm not into that.**_

_**I got get a drink, vodka, **__Hell why die sober huh___

_**And put about 10 or 11 pills into my mouth and swallowed that vodka.**_

_**I feel a littllle tispppsssy.**_

_**I thennnn slittt my wrists.**_

_**God being drunk never felt so good.**_

_**The warm liquid runs down my arms, like a red river of love and hate.**_

_**It feeds my love for Inuyasha and my daughter.**_

_**Who I Know I'll see shortly.**_

_**I Climb intomy shower for the last time.**_

_**I turn on the shower and the bath at the same time, and lie down peacefully.**_

_**I Know that I'm about to die.**_

_**But I just can't believe it.**_

_**My life fashes before my eyes as the water level of the bathtub increases.**_

_**As it gets over my head, I start feeling light headed.**_

_**But It doesn't matter, I now know that finally I can Die and No one has to worry about me ever agaian.**_

_**The Blood of my bocy creates a crimson cover that hides the daylight of my worst fear, Life.**_

_**I finally fall into that deep sleep.**_

_**And who's there to welcome me to the gates of my eternal sleep?**_

_**My husband and my Daghter run up, and fade away in an instant.**_

_**I realize that this is my nightmare come true.**_

_**My Life was hell, **_

_**And That's Where I've Ended Up...**_

_**Staring the devil himself in the face.**_

People i didn't write this story for entertainment but simply for fun...but mostly because I was depressed. These are the ways I see life and How I see Death Also.

Please Review Now.


End file.
